


BGM

by papersandals (laronmi)



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-27
Updated: 2011-07-26
Packaged: 2017-10-21 19:37:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/228977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laronmi/pseuds/papersandals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barnaby bridal carries Kotetsu while Agnes plays (un)fitting music.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> for [this prompt](http://t-and-b-anon.livejournal.com/524.html?thread=1621772#t1621772) on the t&b kink meme:
> 
> "Bunny always ends carrying Tiger in bridal style and my stupid mind always plays "I will always love you" from "The Bodyguard" in the back as if it was mandatory to add it to those scenes.
> 
> So, make it happen, please?"

Hero TV's live broadcasts were actually broadcast with a half-minute delay. While the delay was too long to be considered standard in the industry, it proved useful in multiple situations. Criminals who watched Hero TV live to help themselves avoid capture weren't uncommon, and the delay not only served to throw off their sense of timing, but also helped the crew cobble together decoy footage to throw the criminals off on the heroes' plans as well. Besides, certain things just weren't fit to be aired, and thirty seconds was sometimes a necessary time cushion for the crew to get over their own shock.

That, and broadcasting _everything_ live could be boring. Stakeouts, Agnes knew, were a rating killer while the actual staking out was occurring. Places where the film crew couldn't pick up sound (Or, in the case of a NEXT with sound based abilities, the sponsors forced the crew to mute all footage as a safety precaution) required the editors to find appropriate background music or a narration as filler.

The delay also made it extremely easy for Agnes to get revenge on people, like a certain Wild Tiger who had called her a "workaholic whose obsession with ratings has replaced sex" on live radio. (Of _course_ she was obsessed with ratings; that was the entire point of her damn job!) Joking or not, if Wild Tiger thought Agnes was going to let him get away with it scott free, he was sadly mistaken.

She couldn't force the scenario she had in mind, but knowing those two, it was only a matter of time before it happened anyway. So Agnes waited, preparing everything that needed to be prepared, and then watched over the two for the perfect moment to strike.

The moment came during a mission to evacuate all the stranded motorists from a broken and collapsing overpass. The fact that the overpass broke during rush hour meant that there were a large number of people to save, and that the watching public would be more invested in it as well. The heroes had done well, each one scoring a decent amount of points from civilian rescues, and Sky High scoring the most out of anyone thanks to his ability making it easy for him to get back and forth between the overpass and the ground.

Most of the motorists had been saved, and most of the vehicles had been moved when another part of the overpass suddenly gave out. Wild Tiger, in an attempt to save a single driver still stuck in his vehicle, ran out of his Hundred Power just as he shot a wire towards the car. The microphones picked up the collective gasp of everyone on the ground nearby as the car, driver, and Wild Tiger fell.

The other heroes moved. Sky High flew in, yanked the car door open, and grabbed on to the driver and flew up, carrying him to safety. Meanwhile, Barnaby, who had activated his Hundred Power two minutes after Wild Tiger did, leapt towards his partner, caught him in his arms, and then forcibly pulled on the wire until it broke. The people cheered for their top two heroes, and Agnes cheered internally as well when she saw that Barnaby was, once again, carrying his partner bridal style.

"Start playlist number seven," she said, leaning closer to better see the display where the camera had zoomed in on Tiger and Barnaby. "And put camera three on main while you're at it."

Cain glanced at her. "Why? The mike's picking up sound just fine, and there's nothing--"

"Just do it!"

Cain muttered a quick, "Sorry, sorry," before switching camera three on to the main broadcast channel and starting the playlist.

Whitney Houston started blaring from the speakers. Agnes smiled.

 _" ♪ And I~~~~ will always love youuuuuuuuu~~ ♪ "_

Cain gaped at the screen. "...Agnes, what--"

"We're catering to a new demographic."

Cain gestured towards the screen as he spun toward Agnes, mouth opening and closing rapidly. "Y-you can't just-- People will take it-- This is like a--"

"It's like a music video," Mary said. "It's actually kind of fitting."

 _" ♪ I~~~~~~~ will always love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~~~~~~~ ♪ "_

On the screen, Barnaby had landed safely on the ground, Wild Tiger still in his arms. He turned to Tiger and either said something to his partner or exchanged a knowing look with him (Possibly both, Agnes thought, knowing those two), and then gently set him down. They remained standing close to one another for a brief moment, one of Barnaby's arms still around Wild Tiger's shoulders, before finally separating.

"So romantic," Mary sighed. Cain took a long, deep breath and then let out it in a quick huff.

"Apollon's gonna kill us if those two don't do it first," he muttered.

Agnes's smile just grew wider.


	2. Chapter 2

"Tell me something," Bunny muttered as he caught Kotetsu and broke the wire, "how much weight **have** you been putting on these past few months?"

"It's not fat," Kotetsu said, scowling even though he knew Bunny couldn't see his face through the helmet. "It's muscle. You might actually get some if you worked out once in a while like I do."

"Of course it is," Bunny replied. There was a not-completely-unexpected trace of fondness in all that sarcasm, but Kotetsu still paused for a moment before replying:

"Hey, you're the one having trouble carrying me while your power is activated. I'd be concerned if I were you, Bunny."

"I said you were heavy, not that I couldn't carry you. You've landed safely, haven't you?"

And so they had. Funny how these rescues kept feeling shorter and less devastatingly humiliating.

"Kotetsu," Bunny said quietly, not yet letting him out of his arms, "did your power run out sooner than it should have that time, or--"

"Nah, it was five minutes. Don't worry about it so much, Bunny."

"If I don't worry about you, who will?" Bunny replied, letting Kotetsu's legs slide out of his grasp and onto the ground. "It's not like you take care of yourself while you're nagging at everyone else, _old man_."

"Hahaha. I can see your soft and cuddly core, you know. Bunny-chan's more of a bunny than he'd like to admit."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Bunny said before leaping back onto the overpass. Somehow, Kotetsu could tell that he was smiling when he left.

* * *

But Bunny sure wasn't smiling when the broadcast was played back to them. Then again, Kotetsu wasn't either.

"Is this a joke?" Bunny asked, expression colder than one of Blue Roses's attacks.

"Unfortunately," Lloyds said as he paused the video, "this was what was broadcasted today. The official explanation for this from Hero TV is, I quote, 'Hero TV wants to know that all of its viewers and sponsors are dear to them, and will work on acknowledging all of its loyal fanbases, no matter where their other interests may lie.'"

"What kind of viewers would want to see that?" Kotetsu said, glaring at the paused image of himself being carried to safety in Bunny's arms. He could see Lloyds and Bunny both turn to stare at him in his peripheral vision.

"Have you not read any of the fan mail we get?" Bunny asked, and Kotetsu was about to reply that, yes, of course he had! Except he read the ones addressed only to him and not him and Bunny, which probably wasn't all that great of a thing to do, now that he thought about it.

"I read...some of them," he said reluctantly. The look on Bunny's face told him that Bunny somehow now knew exactly what Kotetsu meant, which made Kotetsu if he was being that obvious (Not possible), or if Bunny had managed to pick up Jake's mind reading power when they fought.

"And in none of the very few letters addressed only to you," Bunny said slowly as Kotetsu flinched a little, "did anyone ask something about our relationship?"

"Well, yeah, but I figured that those were just some obnoxious anti-fans who wanted to-- Wait... Wait. You mean--that's a _thing_?! People actually think that?!"

Bunny was kind of looking at Kotetsu in the same way he did when they first met. Lloyds cleared his throat.

"I have arranged a meeting with Agnes for tomorrow, should the two of you wish to talk about this, ahem, development with her. She'll be in Meeting Room A at eight o'clock in the morning."

"Thank you for arranging that," Bunny said.

"No, really! People mean those things seriously?!"

Lloyds sighed. "Good night, gentlemen."


	3. Chapter 3

Barnaby was in Meeting Room A at seven fifty. Agnes walked in five minutes before eight, and the two of them exchanged polite but cold greetings with one another. Barnaby was still trying to figure out why Agnes was smirking like she was when Kotetsu ran in, three minutes past.

"Sorry I'm late," Kotetsu said, pulling out a chair next to Barnaby's. "Kaede called me this morning, and I couldn't just say no, you know?"

"Oh, don't worry," Agnes said, still looking far too pleased for Barnaby's comfort. "I understand that your daughter comes first."

"Uh, right," Kotetsu said, looking a bit confused, as if he hadn't expected Agnes to be so understanding. "Thanks."

"If we could move on to the matter at hand," Barnaby said, giving Agnes a look as her smirk grew into a satisfied grin, "I would like to know what Hero TV was thinking when they decided to play that song over us yesterday."

"You didn't like it?" Agnes asked, crossing her arms on the table. "I've had feedback that people found it quite fitting."

Barnaby glared. Kotetsu hit the table.

"We don't need you to give people ideas! And that song was an idea if I ever heard one! Besides, is that demo-- democratic-- demogeo--"

"Demographic."

"Right! Is that demographic that important to the show? We've gone on a long time without having to cater to them, so why start now?"

"Because the two of you have caused that particular demographic to grow at a very rapid pace. Ever since Jake's defeat, Barnaby and his partner have been the talk of the media; it's only natural that people get curious. After all, Barnaby is a good looking young man who has plenty of women and men throwing themselves at him, yet he remains celibate to the public eye. Furthermore, he doesn't seem to hang around many people. The only person he does seem any time with is you, Wild Tiger, and the two of you **do** spend a lot of time around each other."

"That's because Bunny's a social failure who never learned how to get along with other people because he had no childhood!"

"Excuse me," Barnaby said coldly as he redirected his glare to his partner. "I am not a social failure, and I did have a childhood."

"A childhood full of REVENGE feelings isn't a childhood at all, Bunny. Trust me; I'm a father."

"A father who admits to not being able to spend time with his own daughter."

Kotetsu let out a melodramatic sigh. "Okay, can you go back to being warm and fuzzy and cute? I'm trying to get us out of this mess."

"By insulting me? Forgive me if I'm not being 'warm and fuzzy and cute' because you just called me a failure. I have the right to be offended."

"I didn't mean it! I'd never try to offend you about that. I was trying to, you know, be figurative."

"So you would try to offend me with other things, then?"

"There's that, too," Agnes said. "The bickering. You two bicker like a married couple."

Barnaby was sure that there was more emotion visible in his expression than he wanted to. Thankfully, he was also certain that it would still not match the obvious distress on Kotetsu's face.

"I'm not married to him!" Kotetsu yelled, jumping out of his chair and pointing to the wedding ring on his hand. "This wedding ring is for my wife! I have a wife! I have-- I had a wife! I was married to a woman! Besides, two men can't even get married in Sternbild!"

"Yet," Agnes said casually, leaning back in her chair and looking at Kotetsu's wild gesturing with amusement. "Imagine, though, if two of Sternbild's most popular heroes started to champion for gay marriage. Do you know how many more sponsors from--"

"Agnes," Barnaby said coldly, "whatever this is, it isn't funny. If this is really a direction that Hero TV is heading towards, we need to work that out on our contracts. If you're going to be catering to a demographic with blatant lies, then I refuse to have anything to do with it."

She actually looked unhappy, which Barnaby chalked up as a victory. A grimace on Agnes's face, at the moment, felt far safer than a smile did.

"Fine, all right. It was a one time deal. No more editing in love songs while the two of you are on screen."

Barnaby closed his eyes in relief. He heard Kotetsu sit back down and say, "Still don't get why you did that in the first place. Could've at least warned a guy!"

"Just like how you could have at least warned me that you were going to call me a ratings fetishist?!"

Barnaby opened his eyes again. Agnes looked taken aback, as if she hadn't meant to blurt out what she did.

"Ratings...fetishist?" Kotetsu repeated. "When did I call you that?"

"Last month, on the radio show," Barnaby said, still keeping watch on Agnes's expression. A flicker of annoyance passed quickly over her face, and everything made sense. "This was revenge for that, wasn't it?"

Before Agnes could defend herself, Kotetsu leapt up again. "Whaaaaaat? But that was just a joke!"

"So was this," Agnes said angrily. "I don't care anymore. My fun's been had; my revenge is completed." She shooed at them with her hands. "Get going. I know you two have another interview before lunch, and I have tasks of my own to do."

"But--"

Barnaby stood up and placed a hand on Kotetsu's shoulder. "Let's go, Kotetsu. She's right. We do have other things we ought to be doing."

Kotetsu let out a sound of protest before walking rather angrily out the door. Barnaby followed behind him, but paused for a moment as he held the door open. He turned back and looked at Agnes, who returned his look.

"Is there something you wanted to say?" she asked. Barnaby shook his head.

"Nothing important. I hope you keep your word, Agnes."

She scoffed. "I promise not to edit the audio to make the broadcasts suggest anything. From now on, I'll air whatever the cameras pick up, and only that. Happy?"

"Thank you." With that, Barnaby left the room to go catch up to his partner.

* * *

"I can't believe she did that," Kotetsu ranted as he stomped down the hallway. "I mean, for a joke, that was pretty tasteless."

"So was yours. I warned you to not saying anything stupid, didn't I?"

"It was a joke," Kotetsu muttered, although Barnaby could tell that he was feeling bad about it now. "I didn't think anyone would take it seriously."

"Agnes did," Barnaby said, opening the doors leading outside. "Besides, it's hard to take it as a joke when...it's..."

 _" ♪ If I should stay, I would only be in your way~~~ ♪ "_

"...true."

Kotetsu frowned and looked around. "What is that song? It sounds familiar."

The morning air was crisp, and the sun was warm but not overbearing. It was, all in all, a beautiful morning.

Except for the music. Barnaby felt his eyebrow twitch.

 _" ♪ So I'll go, but I know~ ♪ "_

"Hey, Bunny, does this sound familiar to you?"

Barnaby breathed in and out a few times. In the distance, he could hear a helicopter. He looked straight ahead, and was distressed to find a group of paparazzi making their way towards them.

 _" ♪ I'll think of you every step of the wayyyyyyy~~~ ♪ "_

"Kotetsu," Barnaby said quietly, "I think I'm going to have to harm a civilian."

Kotetsu gave him an alarmed look. "What?! Bunny, what are you saying? You can't do that! Look, if there's someone bothering you, you can let me know. As your partner, as well as an older and wiser hero, I--"

 _" ♪ And Iiiiiiiii~~~~ will always love youuuuuuuuuuuuu~~~~~ ♪ "_

With perfect timing, the paparazzi descended. Cameras flashed, questions were given, and video was taken.

And that damn song kept playing.

 _" ♪ IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~~~~~~~~~ WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUU~~UUUUUUUUU~~~~~~~~~ ♪ "_

Kotetsu looked like he swallowed something disgusting. Barnaby realized he probably didn't look any differently.

"...Hey, Bunny."

"Yes?"

"As your partner, as well as an older and wiser hero, I insist that I have the first go at her."

"Not a chance. ...We'll both go at the same time."

"Deal."

The Hero TV film crew caught, on tape, the famous duo of Tiger and Barnaby exchange meaningful looks with one another before moving as one, yanking open the doors and yelling:

 ** "AGNES!!" **

They rushed in, and the doors slammed shut behind them, but not before the faint sounds of a woman laughing in delight drifted out of the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> be sure to check out the sweet [video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRBI-RfWoPA) a kind anon made for the fic.


End file.
